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chapter one:why

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1 chapter one:why on Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:41 pm

Abyssol910

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Mercenary
It`s been 3 years ive been locked up in this prison.Betrayed by those i once called friends and family.My guardian wolf "Fang"captured by a king.We were a guild of treasure hunters but some would call us outlaws,thieves and other names.Authorities didnt mind us too much since we didnt do anything big besides clear a place like a cave or ruin of monsters looking for treasure.Things changed when Fang gave me a pitch black sword saying it was time i learned about the abyss and were my name Abyssol came from.He taught me about my power unlocked by the sword and the legends involving it.He never finshed teaching me.A stranger from outside the country found out about the sword saying he was a king and that the guild stole from him.It was all they needed to hear on my 13th birthday while we were celebrateing authorities cracked down on us and most of our own guild mates aided them.For what reason i do not know but i remeber all there faces and names.They will pay with every ounce of blood they have for their treachery and for the fallen who were loyal.While in here ive secretly trained in the abyss.(a guard opens the cell door)Guard:Time to eat.Dark aura forms on Abyssol`s hands.Today i shall leave this place in ruins!

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2 Re: chapter one:why on Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:43 pm

Abyssol910

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Mercenary
I`m new at writeing so sugestions and advice would be appreciated

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3 Re: chapter one:why on Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:48 pm

Nobody000

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Shinigami Taisho
Shinigami Taisho
I think is ok how it is but if u want any help go look at how the other members write their stories and check if u like how they right and chose to write like that or write with w/e u feel is good for u but dont make it so that we cant understand when expecialy when the character's r talking.


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4 Re: chapter one:why on Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:35 am

Abyssol910

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Mercenary
Thx.what mainly i tried to do with this chapter is just exsplain wat happened

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5 Re: chapter one:why on Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:31 pm

lardyn

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Druid
nice abyssol. i like the story line. i would like to see more info about this sword and more about how the wolf looks. and you should change the name, youkai has a wolf named fang already.

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6 Re: chapter one:why on Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:25 pm

Nobody000

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Shinigami Taisho
Shinigami Taisho
ok


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"fight the tears, With pretty smiles....and.....kiss the stars with me"


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