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002

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1 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:23 pm

Selfier

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Hunter and Co. were going onward the east looking for hints of Solrac's special one, while going through the Blue forest a fog was slowly lifting covering the whole forest, the sky was turning dark and the nocturnal critter were waking to the light of the moon.
Hunter and Stephii notice something and lowered their pace and felt behind Solrac, Solrac looked back in wonder and notice the faint rampering stomps of creatures, these stomps were heard coming from every dirrection disperse in echoes,
Hunter took out his weapon Alvair, a beautifully crafted bow made with razor-sharp blades for close and long range combat, he put himself in position to fire an arrow he pulled from the Alvair as if pulling from a "cord", the wind rapidly concentrated around his finger tips forming into what one would say an arrow, the arrow then started absorbing the air around it creating gusts of wind, leaves and branches were flying, the wind being strong was destroying the area, Solrac took out two guns out of his jacket while trying to keep from flying off onto the air, Stephii took out a weapon that looked like the alvair but smaller named Blaire, then both Solrac and Stephii got into position, Hunter let go off the arrow releasing a huge gust of wind going into the dirrection of the monster, the wind was as strong are a tornado taking everything in its path, the blast took a big part of the forest revealing the creatures coming to them they were shights, Hunter and Stephii ran toward the shight whilst Solrac stayed still waiting for the right moment, the shights started jumping on the broken trees trying to surround Hunter and Stephii, Stephii threw the Blaire towards Hunter and then jumped toward one of the shights kicking it and sending it flying towards a tree two came behind her and grabbed her but their surprise it was a fake, Stephii was right behind them, with the Blaire at hand she started swinging it a blinding speeds turning the shights into pieces, mean while hunter let go of the alvair, the Alvair stayed in the air hovering around Hunter, Hunter then summomed to swords in front of him he grabbed then and cutted one of the shights head gushing blood all around, spilling all over off the blades, the shights were everywhere, while Hunter and Stephii were fighting a huge roar could be heard from the background coming to their direction, the floating Alvair started to spin fast releasing rapid shots of air to the shights around Hunter, on the other side Solrac got tired of waiting for a right moment so he went to prepare for whatever was it that was coming their way, the roars became louder, a huge monster was coming and fast....



Last edited by on Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:45 pm; edited 11 times in total


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2 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:32 pm

Shadow008

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Exaggeration with the moon part. Don't try to make it sound mystical to much it loses its flow. Also what is this "blue" forest ???


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"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

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3 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 8:31 pm

Selfier

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it was a metaphor as like critters are waking and making sound in the night....


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4 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 8:42 pm

Shadow008

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i know but is just like to much or something... nevermind


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"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

Do you have the dragon balls to do it?

I'm only human. I have the right to change my mind at any given moment without reason.
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5 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:32 pm

Selfier

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I want to keep writting but for some reason I don't feel inspired........


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6 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:46 pm

Shadow008

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hmm that arrow was exaggerated in power... care to explain why??? what effect did it make anyway???


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"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

Do you have the dragon balls to do it?

I'm only human. I have the right to change my mind at any given moment without reason.
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7 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:51 pm

Selfier

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Hunter was consentrating wind onto the arrow and when it was release it created a giant gust of wind much as a tornado, it's suppose to take longer but... I can't write it...


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8 Re: 002 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:12 am

Shadow008

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Hmm so that would explain... try making as if the sorrounding are getting affected that would make it be more effective but also say what the others are doing while that is happening... just giving out ideas... use musik, that inspires or draw something...


_________________
"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

Do you have the dragon balls to do it?

I'm only human. I have the right to change my mind at any given moment without reason.
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9 Re: 002 on Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:47 pm

I think it was great (the part with the arrow)
very detailed and gave me a vivid picture of wat was going on.....
that moon bit was a bit much, but wat ever get's ur point across!

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10 Re: 002 on Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:10 am

Selfier

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I wrote more so check it out and thx for the comments so far! ^.^


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False promises only work for Doctors and  Goverments. The reasom why these lies only work for these two groups is because by the time you are able to realize these are lies, you will probably already be dead.
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11 Re: 002 on Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:06 pm

Shadow008

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It now starts to feel better, but I think would like it if I knew where they was... The east isn't enough without the name of a location tha can be found around there... but still great work. I see you listened to my advise and it payoff.


_________________
"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

Do you have the dragon balls to do it?

I'm only human. I have the right to change my mind at any given moment without reason.
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12 Re: 002 on Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:31 pm

Nobody000

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that arrow sound deadly and at the same time 2 powerfull


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13 Re: 002 on Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:24 am

Selfier

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was the arrow part that cool people keep mentioning it...


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False promises only work for Doctors and  Goverments. The reasom why these lies only work for these two groups is because by the time you are able to realize these are lies, you will probably already be dead.
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14 Re: 002 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:00 am

Nobody000

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I think it was an ok almost cool but almost


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15 Re: 002 on Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:38 am

well actually I liked the arrow part but I want 2 see more spat in the fighters ^_^


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16 Re: 002 on Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:24 am

Nobody000

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what do u mean spat reverse???


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17 Re: 002 on Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:34 pm

Shadow008

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The arrow parts stands out the most, the rest is done well, but I get a small feeling that is a little forced, like if you wanted just to finish. You could edit this some more and make it better, I should do the same in my 4th chapter and be careful on the 5th one and the rest of fights to come.


_________________
"No creature is born with the sole purpose of dying." "Trust is an easy thing to destroy, but it can take a long time to built."


Half Elf: "What possible value does one burdened to exist with cursed blood have?... Sometimes running away is the one way to save yourself... Humans are so arrogant.

Do you have the dragon balls to do it?

I'm only human. I have the right to change my mind at any given moment without reason.
View user profile

18 Re: 002 on Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:58 pm

Nobody000

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Shinigami Taisho
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what does spat mean??? anyone


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19 Re: 002 on Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:48 am

Clash011

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Get an inspiration already........ >.<


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